September 17^th, 2001

"SLASHER MOVIE SKELETONS"

You know what they say, everyone has to start somewhere.

And what better place to start in the acting world than in a low-budget slasher flick?

You know, the kind of movies where the people involved get famous down the road and promptly drop from their resumes.

The kind of movies that actors just don't want to be associated with in fears that they won't be taken "seriously" (a point that could be called true when you see Snoop Dogg is starring in an upcoming horror flick).

This grab bag will dig out three such "resume drops".

The Final Terror [1981] is an early Daryl Hannah movie I bet she wishes to forget. But it's also notable as the directorial debut for Andrew "The Fugitive" Davis.

One of the many early 80's slasher movies that's set during a camping trip in which a wild forest dwelling killer decides to slice-up those tresspassing in their territory.

Hannah plays one of the victims (as expected) and manages to have been cast in what could be one of the more boring slasher movies made. It's sluggish, draggy and dull with a minimal of deaths and no memorable scenes.

Heck, even the similar Don't Go In The Woods at least had the beartrap and crappy theme song to fall back on.

Shadows Run Black [1984] takes us back to a more innocent time where Kevin Costner was wearing purple vinyl jackets and not making really bad post-apocolyptic vanity projects.

Here Costner plays a boyfriend-type who is accused of killing a bunch of nubile female students but ends-up becoming a victim of the killer himself.

Yeah, SRB (nice!), isn't quite the worst slasher movie made in the 80's but it did sit on the shelf for three years and it is distributed by Troma...that in itself is a warning, I remember Girls School Screamers...

Return To Horror High [1987] is one sloppy slasher flick.

About a low-budget film crew making an exploitation telling of some high school murders at the actual location of the deaths only to start getting killed themselves (whew!); this one had a couple of lame-o deaths and a plot that got so mixed-up that we really couldn't care less after about half the movie was over.

But why is it listed here? Why for George Clooney of course. Playing a wannabe actor who decides to leave the set for his "fame and fortune" on a TV series only to become the first victim; George looks all "cute" with his puffy hair and trademark smirk.

Plus you can throw in 1988's Return Of The Killer Tomatoes for a double-bill of "George's Lost Films".